Good stories

Hey there, guys and gals. Let me tell you all a chilling, true story. I recently escaped -- unharmed, mind you -- from an extremely dangerous encounter. It was with a waiter -- not a normal waiter, but an evil waiter who also happened to be a squirrel.

It all began the other day when I was driving to work and stopped at a crosswalk to let a woman by. Then out of nowhere, this dude in the car behind me started screaming and giving me the finger! It was totally crazy -- and sitting there in his little sports car, the first thing I noticed was that the guy looked exactly like a squirrel in a blender! I thought I might be hallucinating, but at the next light the jerk pulled up right next to me and I got a closer look. And I saw it was true. He looked exactly like a squirrel in a blender. So I rolled down the window and said:

"Hey buddy, what's your problem? It's common courtesy to let people cross the street -- so why don't you just hop on out of your blender, scurry over to a nice tree and gather up some acorns?"

Then the evil squirrel points and pulls over at the next corner. And, as yours truly never backs down from confrontations with small animals, I followed suit.

So there we were, the squirrel squealing his lungs out, and me, well, I kept telling him to get out of his car. But the dude wouldn't get out. This went on for a while, until finally I got tired and drove away. But the whole incident was disturbing.

So, this afternoon I was at a business lunch with some clients at a cool restaurant. And guess who our waiter was. That's right! I swear -- I'm positive -- I mean I'm pretty darn sure that it was the same evil squirrel dude! I was staring in shock and could hardly believe my eyes -- and the squirrel-waiter pretended to not even recognize me! His whole expression was just ... blank. I started to panic, because I knew he would try to poison me.

It was a bad scene, and the clients were totally unaware of the danger. I emerged unscathed in the end, but the clients thought it was a little weird that I kept making them taste my ice water. And there was an awkward silence when I told our squirrel-waiter I'd give him a huge sack of acorns if he promised not to poison my food. That was before I tripped the sucker when he brought over our entrées, even though I made it look like an accident. But you know what? Now that I think about it, I'm wondering if it was actually even the same dude. I mean, can squirrels even drive sports cars? Do they wait tables?

carter wrote:i'm so confused right now i don't even know where to begin. where did you find this story and is there some underlying meaning that i'm missing?