Chuck Norris Facts

I just saw this one and thought it was good:

"Jesus may be able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land. Take that Jesus"

Matt do you think Todd would like that one?

todd does not approve.

Man invented the car to run away from Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris then invented the car crash.

lol nice

Here are two oldies but goodies:

"Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird"

"If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you"

RCBooba wrote:I just saw this one and thought it was good:

"Jesus may be able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land. Take that Jesus"

Matt do you think Todd would like that one?

BTW, this one was classic. i can't remember anymore of them...damnit.

www.chucknorrisfacts.com. So damn funny.

"For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one."

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because his heart is not foolish enough to attack him.

Some people wear superman PJ's when they go to bed, Superman wears Chuck Norris PJ's.

drago wrote:Some people wear superman PJ's when they go to bed, Superman wears Chuck Norris PJ's.

Ha! I enjoy this one

Chuck Norris' calendar goes directly from March 31st to April 1st. Nobody fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris one time ate a whole cake...before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris doesn't own a house, he just walks in to random houses and people move.

drago wrote:Chuck Norris one time ate a whole cake...before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

This one is awesome.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

When Chuck Norris jumps into a lake, he does not get wet. The lake gets Chuck Norris.



Chuck Norris does not go hunting. Hunting implies a possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.



The grass is always greener on the other side...unless Chuck Norris has been there, then it is stained red with blood.



Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.


Chuck Norris doesn't read. He just stares at a page and the letters arrange themselves out of fear.


If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you're probably about to be round-housed to death.

When Chuck Norris turns out the light to go to bed, the dark gets scared.

A Chuck Norris round house kick is the preffered method of execution in 17 states.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side

Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.

Jesus Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas on December 25th.

lol....those are all great...

Dr. Cox wrote:Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

This might be my new favorite